my weekend! boo hiss!

hello peoples
so instead of having a great weekend with my family it got all fucked up cuz of my stupid bipolar problems! i meam of corse i had fun...my family is the best there is but i wish i could have enjoyed it more than i did. it all tarted friday i had a Dystonic reaction to my Geodon. this is when your meds causes your nerves have spasams. for me it was in my neck and jaw...it was horrible. so becuase that happened i had to stop taking the Geodon and so saturday i had withdraws or some shit! i was even more on edge than usual and the room was spinning all night. my aunts got to go see josh thompson but cuz i couldnt fuckn walk i was so dizzy i ha to stay behind. so sunday was good didnt have any withdraws but all of a sudden my body wanted to be tired for the first time in a fuckn month! so i slept half the day. and today im cranky as hell. i HATE being cranky so much...so that makes me even more mad. im getting tons of sleep now and that sucks cuz im sleeping my weekend away, tomarrow ill have to go back to work. whenever i would have my down time before i would just get VERY depressed, this is the first time i feel like i could bite someones head off. i hate it, i know i said that but its a horrible feelin to be so mad for no reason at all. if you were to ask anyone i know they would say im NEVER cranky. and i donno when ill be able to get back on some meds for all this crap so once again i have to just deal with it as it gets worse and worse. im looking for a silver lining in this black cloud over me today but its just not going to easy. (sad face)

love, cranky bitch

ps
thanks to bec and in the pink for commenting on some of my shit.

dumb ????

so this is a really stupid ??? when im on my dashboard it says im logged in but when i do anything else it asks me to sign in? wtf? this means i cant follow people and comment on some blogs it makes me super sad! can anyone explain this to me?

love you forever and always

not too many

so im pretty sad to see nothing happening so far with this blog. :( i donno i guess i was just reaching out for some kind of sanity. i know its only been a day but cheese and rice! i thought id catch on more and id have some bipolar buddies to chat with to get some answers. its about 95 degrees out today and im sweating my buns off! the only good thing about that is its making me tired me and my doggie took a nice hour nap...but now im hoping i can fall asleep later too. im lovin reading other peoples blogs, its really nice to know im not alone in this. it helps to make me feel okay about it. i feel blessed to not have such a extreem case as other people i read about. but my heart goes out to anyone that has it cuz if it has effected your life the way it has mine i just wanna say i love you and hold on. i used to think about death a lot but now its getting better im just...and these blogs are helping a lot. i think iv said that before but its very true.

love, stephy