hello peoples
so instead of having a great weekend with my family it got all fucked up cuz of my stupid bipolar problems! i meam of corse i had fun...my family is the best there is but i wish i could have enjoyed it more than i did. it all tarted friday i had a Dystonic reaction to my Geodon. this is when your meds causes your nerves have spasams. for me it was in my neck and jaw...it was horrible. so becuase that happened i had to stop taking the Geodon and so saturday i had withdraws or some shit! i was even more on edge than usual and the room was spinning all night. my aunts got to go see josh thompson but cuz i couldnt fuckn walk i was so dizzy i ha to stay behind. so sunday was good didnt have any withdraws but all of a sudden my body wanted to be tired for the first time in a fuckn month! so i slept half the day. and today im cranky as hell. i HATE being cranky so much...so that makes me even more mad. im getting tons of sleep now and that sucks cuz im sleeping my weekend away, tomarrow ill have to go back to work. whenever i would have my down time before i would just get VERY depressed, this is the first time i feel like i could bite someones head off. i hate it, i know i said that but its a horrible feelin to be so mad for no reason at all. if you were to ask anyone i know they would say im NEVER cranky. and i donno when ill be able to get back on some meds for all this crap so once again i have to just deal with it as it gets worse and worse. im looking for a silver lining in this black cloud over me today but its just not going to easy. (sad face)
love, cranky bitch
ps
thanks to bec and in the pink for commenting on some of my shit.
Being mentally ill is so hard....I hope you keep blogging about it. It is good therapy in my mind.
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